by Angelo Dominguez
Today, it seems as if people don't have the time for much of anything. We don’t go to stores, instead we order from Amazon. Instead of buying our own groceries, we use doordash or postmates. Today, convenience is everything. So where do we turn to when we seek love? Online dating apps such as Tinder, okCupid, or Farmers Only. I cannot claim to be the voice of the millennial generation, but I can speak from my personal experiences when I say, “Dating apps suck.”
I've been using Tinder for a long time. I've tried every number of tactics to get a match, but the pattern never changes: I meet someone who shared a mutual interest only to inevitably be ghosted and left to wonder what it is I did wrong and to never hear anything from her again. Recently, I met a woman who liked me and expressed a frustration with the superficiality of Tinder. We agreed to go on a date for the Lunar New Year. She lived about an hour away. It seemed to be the perfect opportunity to meet someone I might actually like. At first, I had hope, until I tried to contact her again. I haven't heard from her since. I guess It's easier to walk away rather than try to explain why. Today, my Tinder profile consists mostly of pictures of my dog. I find myself swiping right on profiles until I run out of likes or locals in my area whenever I'm feeling lonely. Then, I wonder why anyone uses these apps at all.
My charm mostly comes out in person, so my odds are best out in public spaces. However, being a full time student with a part-time job as a cashier means I don't have much time to meet people anywhere else but school or work. Meeting people my age where I work is a rare occurrence, and it is far from an appropriate setting to be flirting with anyone. So the best opportunities I have are here at Folsom Lake where people my age have enough common ground to start conversations. Besides, all anyone needs is the opportunity to make an impression. Conversations can bud into friendships and maybe friendships can become more.
Love isn't instant, you have to be willing to invest in people. Take time to understand their complexities and accept them for the people they are, flaws and all. We crave familiarity and comfort. If you're anything like me, and it seems like online dating isn't working for you, that's because online dating misses the point of dating. Online dating apps don't let you spend time with people. Instead, these apps have become tools for hookups that serve our instant gratification. Apps meant to connect us separate us from genuine human interactions.
Thanks for reading.
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